The Eurovision Song Contest is in one week’s time. You know what that means…
Haha. Yeah. Doctor Who will probably be shown earlier. But back to Eurovision. I have got a fun list as to why all the countries should vote for Britain and let us win for the first time in ages-
- Iceland: Remember that volcano a couple of years ago? Yeah, that was from Iceland. So, to apologise for the inconvenience, it makes sense for Iceland to vote for Britain.
- Sweden: IKEA is from Sweden. Sweden make the best meatballs. Sweden should vote for us or I won’t pay for any more meatballs from IKEA. Simple as.
- Italy: I love Italian food. So, if they don’t vote for us, I’ll start eating boring British food. (No offence to British food.)
- Finland: Spamelot, the musical adaptation of Monty Python’s Holy Grail, did a song about Finland. Finland should vote for us or we will ask Monty Python to write a song about another country.
- Belgium & Switzerland: Both make chocolate and we make chocolate too. They should vote for us or we will make more chocolate and not sell Belgium or Swiss chocolate.
- Ireland: We share the British Isles. That’s the only reason why they should vote for us.
- France: They’re the closest country to us. We share the English Channel. If they don’t vote for us, we will send an army of moles to sink France because moles are COOL.
- Spain and Germany: We learn Spanish and German at school. If they don’t vote for us, we will stop learning them.
- Denmark: Shakespeare wrote a play about a Danish prince (Hamlet). If thy doth not vote, we won’t perform it.
That’s all the excuses I can think of. Hopefully we will win next week and it will be because of me!