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I hate musicals- A Rant: Be warned

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I HATE musicals. Fact. No joke. I HATE musicals.

Why do I hate musicals? Well, read on…

By musicals, I mean Disney movies (except non-singing Pixar films), and well, stage musicals and film musicals.

So, what do I hate about musicals?

  1. The singing doesn’t advance the plot. AT ALL. They are just silly additions to give a genuinely good story a “musical” title and to hog more money of people. Without singing, the story would probably be brilliant, but the pointless singing ruins it. 
  2. The musical/Disney film always turns out to be more famous than the book or film it’s based off. How many of you has heard of the Les Mis book? Or how about the Oliver Twist book? Or the story of Mulan (with NO dragons). Or Jungle Book, Hunch Back of Notre Dam, Aladdin, Little Mermaid and Tarzan books?
  3. This one is aimed at Disney most. One word: sterotypes. ALL, and I repeat ALL (or at least most) of the Disney films have got typical villains, a hero and a pointless love interest so the hero can sing a song about her. No multi layered characters and boring motivations with no depth or personality except for the basic ones:

Evil guy: Let’s be evil just because I want to be evil and kidnap a lady for no good reason! Or, I’ll be some sick parody of an interesting villain and be turned into a boring singing caricature!

Hero: I’ll be good and save my girlfriend with no real skill and no personality apart from my singing voice! I’ll also defeat the stereotypical villain who is mostly stupid and dies off screen!

Girl/Love interest: I’m pointless except to spur the plot onward and have a soon-to-be famous song all about me!

Also, they (as in anyone who write musicals) mutilate dark and well thought out stories and turn them into boring musicals. The Little Mermaid ends with the mermaid dissolving into foam for trying to kill a prince and failing to marry him, as the whole point she got legs was to try to marry the prince in a day. When the prince marries someone else, the mermaid tries to kill him but morning comes and she dissolves. But, the animated musical says that the Sea Witch (who in the book, isn’t the bad guy) gets defeated and the mermaid marries the prince.

NO!

If someone wants to make an adaptation of something, they need to remain true to the story. Disney change dark stories into silly adaptations with endings that the original author wasn’t intending. I don’t mind stories/musicals that stay true to the original story, like Oliver and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Those are stories that obey the original story. BUT, musicals like all the Disney movies mutilate the stories to give dark stories happy endings. NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Right. Rant over.

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About epicduda

I'm 16 years old. I like animals, lasagne, comic books, films, role-playing games and Doctor Who. I write cool stuff - Doctor Who, science fiction, film reviews, and quirks about Britain. I have a blue-tongued skink called Georgy and a cat called Billy.

5 responses »

  1. Good rant Ben, I really dislike Disney. Though have you ever seen the Disney films about Nazi Germany, they are quite amusing!

    Reply
  2. I agree with point 1 – some musicals do just have singing for the sake of singing, and don’t advance the plot. But others don’t. Les Mis for example – it is all singing (pretty much). If the songs didn’t advance the plot, the plot wouldn’t go very far. Same in Joseph (incidentally, can you tell me what the anachronism in the lyrics of Joseph is? And the “continuity error”?).

    Chitty Chitty Bang bang – from what I remember, the film was quite different to the book. And the stage version was different again.

    Reply
  3. Graham Williams

    What you are really saying is that you hate Disney musicals because of the thick layer of whitewash applied to sanitise the story. I would agree that the songs are not terribly inspiring and some of the lyrics are horribly sugary but that is no reason to assume that all musicals are the same. There are loads of cases where the entire story is sung (and I do not just mean operas). Evita, Les Miserables, Jesus Christ Superstar and Cats are just some examples of productions where the whole story is told through song, the difference being that in these musicals the songs are memorable and do have the purpose of advancing the plot.

    Reply
  4. Graham Williams

    And I forgot to mention Hair and The Rocky Horror Show – two of my all time favourites with great songs and minimal dialogue.

    Reply
  5. Pingback: A musical re-rant |

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