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Monarch 101: William II

Hello! Time again for that special time of the day- MONARCH 101!!!!!!!

Today it’s William II’s turn to be in the spotlight where you will learn about a red king, battling brothers and silly barons! (By the way, 101 means the basics for something- it’s an American term I learnt about when I watched Youtube clips).

So, on with William II, also known as William Rufus (Find out why soon!)

william ii

William Rufus (so called because of his red hair) was the third son of William the Conquerer (don’t get too confused. Bill Conq dies soon). William’s older brother Robert got the throne of Normandy when Dad died (told you) and his second brother Richard died in a silly accident when he crashed into a tree (idiot). So, William got the throne and crown of England while little Henry got 5000 silver coins (his sister Adela got nothing. Poor her.)

BUT there were problems. Barons in Normandy wanted Robert to rule Normandy and England, as they thought he was more capable of ruling a country than William. Only one thing to do… WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

William and Robert then started fighting for each other’s thrones. In 1088 a revolt by the Norman barons would have succeeded this much in Strictly Come Fighting:

all 0's

That’s right! Robert and his silly barons got their noses kicked off (not really having their noses kicked off. You know what I mean). After that it was WILLIAM’S turn to snatch the Norman throne and he launched several campaigns against Robert which failed most of the time. BUT in 1097 Robert fought in the Crusades and, in one of the strangest deals of all time, Robert let William loan Normandy for 10,000 marks. 10,000 marks! (He should have settled on a fiver and some Maltesers!)

So, how did William get this money? By TAXING ENGLAND’S SOCKS OFF! This made him so unpopular that our judges can’t vote how unpopular he was!

After that William fought against Scotland as Malcolm III invaded some English towns and got obliterated COMPLETELY by WIlliam’s forces. Malcolm then paid homage to William and William got some Scottish lands as well.

My infant and junior schools were both on Kingsway- a long road where William II’s body was carried on its way to Winchester Cathedral.

This plaque in Romsey is near where I live.

This plaque in Romsey is near where I live.

How he plopped off

Once again, good old Horrible Histories has given us an entertaining video to explain exactly how William plopped off.


About Ben Williams

I am a 17 year old pop culture addict from the south of England. I write about Doctor Who, superheroes, fantasy, films and occasionally dive into the random world of British culture.

5 responses »

  1. I really love your Strictly Come Fightinganalogy. You are very good at storytelling. I also found the video clip very entertaining. I don’t think these men were really his good friends, after all.

  2. I enjoyed your lesson today but the video wouldn’t play 😦

  3. Pingback: Reasons Hampshire is a must see British destination |

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