RSS Feed

The Daily Ben: Slug VS Miliband! A political outbreak!

Posted on

Self-fertilising: Spanish slugs, with their distinctive orange appearance, entered Britain in plants and salads

Who is more important? Ed Miliband or a giant slug?

The answer is: They are both equally important, except that only Ed Miliband is included in the main news.

Why is this? It’s because the news think that only Ed Miliband and the arguments he is having with David Cameron are important . The news DON’T care about giant Spanish slugs who are sneaking into people’s gardens and eating people’s plants.

The news only report on politics, murders, robberies and other boring stuff. They don’t care about a poor farmer who might have spent three months growing cabbages, without reading about the giant slugs. This is because, sadly, the article about the slugs is right at the bottom of the page while Ed Miliband is on the front page, so the farmer’s cabbages get eaten by the slugs because he wasn’t warned.

The consequences: Supermarkets can’t get his cabbages so they start running out of business. Furthermore, the farmer has no cabbages to sell so his wife and five children are hungry and with no money. This means they will have to sleep on the streets.

The Spanish slug: it’s important news too!

WHY CAN’T THE NEWSPAPER REPORT ABOUT STUFF LIKE THE SLUGS ON THE FRONT PAGE SO ALL MANNERS OF PEOPLE CAN READ THE NEWS SO EVERYONE KNOWS ABOUT EVERYTHING EQUALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rant over.

Though seriously, everything on the news needs to be treated equally =(.

(p/s: Slug’s image is from The Telegraph. Ed Miliband’s image is from Wikipedia.)

About these ads

About epicduda

I'm 13 years old. I like animals, lasagne, video games, films, role-playing games and Doctor Who. I write cool stuff - Doctor Who, science fictions, film reviews, and Kings and Queens. I have a blue-tongued skink called Georgy and a cat called Billy.

5 responses »

  1. Ben, you really made me laugh! It’s such a brilliant post. I agree with you that slugs are very important, especially these are giant slugs.

    Reply
  2. Here here,…….well said that young man :-) I have a very big garden with lots of plants. I also have three dogs and slugs and snails are very dangerous to these animals if they eat them! The slug is brightly coloured so looks very inviting to the dog……need i say more!

    Reply
  3. Graham Williams

    I agree that they are both equally important as they both have the capability to inflict permanent damage to the economy of this country. Mind you, the current bunch of incompetents are doing their bit in this area.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 132 other followers

%d bloggers like this: